THESE TWO ARE DONZO

 

Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong have broken up.

They started dating back in May and Kate even introduced Lance to her son. A source told UsWeekly, "There was no drama or ugliness - They just decided to end things. There is no hatred, just sadness."   It's pretty shocking that they lasted thing long, three months. 

-DLISTED.COM

 

FERGIE'S NEW SHOE LINE...

Fergie unveiled the Brown Shoe footwear collection she designed in Las Vegas yesterday. We have to wait until Spring to see the line in stores, but in the meantime, check out what Fergie has to say about the designs and get more of a peek. Fergs is also gearing up for her big acting role in Nine. When asked about working with big names like Daniel Day-Lewis and Nicole Kidman (among others), she said, "I'm speechless. I'm definitely going to be a sponge on set. I want to pick up on everything that all these brilliant actors are bringing to the table. I'm probably going to be the quietest that I've ever been while working just because I want to watch and learn." Which are you more excited for, her shoes or her big-screen movie?

-POPSUGAR.COM

 

KANYE TV IS COMING... OH GEEEEEEEEEZZZZ

So talented, so obnoxious, so insufferable, so unapologetic, and SO entertaining...

Which is probably why HBO wants so badly to give him his own show, enlisting the services of the producer from Curb Your Enthusiasm to work on a "single-camera series that would follow the busy life of the Grammy-winning artist and his relationship with family and friends."

-LAINEYGOSSIP.COM

 

PAMMY PROBABLY WONT WANNA HEAR THIS...

Tommy Lee has no intention of giving up sex with groupies.  The Motley Crue rocker - who recently claimed he had rekindled his  relationship with ex-wife Pamela Anderson, with who he has two sons - insists he has no reason to stop his "mission".

When asked how many groupies he had slept with, he replied: "There's no
number, just a mission. And it's still going. There's no way we are clamming
down."

Meanwhile, the musician is reportedly so smitten with former 'Baywatch'
actress Pammie that he even has naughty photographs of her on his phone.   A friend of Tommy revealed: "Pam may be 41 but she still looks every inch the Playboy bunny she was and Tommy has the proof.

"If you're really nice to him, apparently he'll even show you!"

The former 'Baywatch' star moved back into the Motley Crue drummer's home last month with their two sons, Brandon, 12, and 10-year-old Dylan.  She has since claimed the family are staying with Tommy while their house is  being renovated.

-HOLLYWODRAG.COM

 

EVEN THOUGH THE TREND IS OVER JT WANTS CREDIT!!

Justin Timberfake wants everyone to know that he's the tool responsible for bringing the nauseating trucker cap trend to the masses. He told Fashion Rocks (via Marc Malkin), "It's funny. I keep hearing Ashton Kutcher say how he was responsible for trucker caps. I've heard him make that statement before. Trace and I were wearing them when we were seventeen."

-DLISTED.COM

 

NO BOND JUST BLOOD FOR WINO...

It's official! Amy Wino will have nothing to do with the next Bond theme. Producers announced that Alicia Keys and Jack White of The White Stripes will join forces for the "Quantum of Solace" theme song. This is the first duet in Bond song history.

Jack wrote and produced the song called "Another Way to Die." Another way to die is by listening to this song. Snap! Jack also sings with Alicia on the track.  These two are kind of an odd couple. The producers probably threw a bunch of names in a hat and pulled out two. Oh why didn't they pull out Grace Jones and Charo? WHY?!

-DLISTED.COM

My favorite little crackie, Amy Wino, received a special delivery outside of her home today. Let's not jump to conclusions! This could be anything. Yes, it could mean she's a vampire and this is a special gift from Marc Anthony's personal stash. It could also be a crack dealer pretending to be a blood delivery man. She could also be giving a blood....ugh....I'm feeling queezy again.

-dlisted.com

KFED HAS IT SOOOO EASY

KFed showed up to the X Games Celebrity Skins Classic yesterday to play a round of golf. Kendra Wilkinson was there, so this was definitely a game of d-bag golf. KFed told People that his life is just peachy, "Been having a good summer, I can't complain. I've worked here and there a little bit. Definitely staying at home with the family."

There he goes talking about that "work" thing again! Nobody is buying it. Spending all day trying to pop corn with your cell phone is hardly work.

When asked about when his follow-up to amazing rap masterpiece "Playing with Fire" is coming out, he said, "I don't know, I'm going to make everybody wait on that." Who's this "everybody" he's talking about?  KFed also took a moment to check on his kids during the event. That's what he told the photographers anyway. He was probably just checking on his bank account. Same thing, actually.

-DLISTED.COM

 

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY'S LITTLE ONE!!!

OK! Magazine, who has the exclusive, has posted more pictures (they have more pix on their site) of Matthew McConaughey and his happy little Surfer, Dude. What a beautiful family? Can you believe he kept his shirt on for the full photoshoot? 

-SERIOUSLYOMG.COM

 

SEX AND THE CITY ALL ABOUT SAMANTHA!?!?!

Hold onto your seats ladies because this rumor is getting me excited. Hey! If the X-Men can split up and each have individual movies made about them... why not the Sex and the City ladies?

RUMOR is that Kim Cattrall's character is set to STAR in the next Sex and the City movie after approaching producers with the idea that Samantha should take the lead! I'm getting giddy just writing about this. Samantha's back! We learned that towards the end of the movie. The options are limitless. 

If this is true, then Carrie and Big will be pushed off to the side probably living out a happy life in marital bliss while Samantha makes an attempt to get back on track. One co-star isn't rumored to be too happy with the decision... Sarah Jessica Parker.

"Sarah threatened to boycott the sequel if Warner Brothers agreed to Kim's plan. Sarah said she'd withdraw her producer credit and put pressure on Cynthia Nixon and Kirstin Davis to not participate."

If Sarah really doesn't want this to happen... odds are it won't.

"Sarah is in the driver's seat as far as having final say on the sequel and the storylines."

Only time will tell... or a rep confirmation. But I'm banking on time. 

AND I HAVE ONE BIG SPOILER RUMOR IF YOU ARE INTERESTED. Click on the continue reading link below to find out what it is...

Miranda's character will figure out that she is a lesbian in the next movie.  Cynthia Nixon is gay in real life so it's all very art imitating life isn't it?

 -IMNOTOBSESSED.COM

 

ALANIS BECAME A PROMISCUOUS GIRL TO HEAL...

Alanis Morissette recovered from her split with former fiance Ryan Reynolds last year by going on "lots of dates" and having "lots of sex".  The Canadian singer, 34, was devastated when her engagement to the actor ended in February 2007, and it took her months to recover.

She even banned herself from getting seriously involved with another man for 12 months after the break-up.  But Morissette admits she has enjoyed being back on the dating scene - because it meant she could have sex with different men without having to commit to any of them.

The star, who now has a boyfriend, says, "No strings relationships have helped cure me of love addiction. All my life I've been in long-term monogamous relationships. I had to break that pattern by not allowing myself to have a relationship for a year, stopping myself from committing to men. I haven't been celibate. I've had lots of dates and lots of sex, but I haven't been pushing to turn a date into a relationship. This has been a huge thing for me."

-ICYDK.COM

 

39^TH SEASON OF SESAME STREET WITH BECKHAM!!!

i know everyone loves sesame street and it's hard to believe the childrens' show is kicking off its 39th season on august 11th (a highlight video is embedded below) this time around they have a new slew of celebrity guests including super hottie soccer stud david beckham - i love the picture of david and elmo below - how freakin' cute are they together?!? other celebs stopping by sesame street include: jack black, feist, neil patrick harris, heidi klum, jenny mccarthy, will arnett, ll cool j, chandra wilson, jessica alba, molly shannon, jonah hill, brian williams, gilbert godfrey, megan mullally, randy jackson, and sandra oh!

i'll be setting my tivo to record a couple of episodes (especially august 22nd when mr. beckham's episode is scheduled to air!) in conjunction with the season premiere - a new website www.sesamestreet.org is launching as well that will feature thousands of videos from over the years (amongst other things) there's seriously nothing like a trip down sesame street's memory lane (oh mr. hooper) popbytes over & out for now...xxoo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  -POPBYTES.COM

DON'T MESS WITH BRUCE!!!

Bruce Willis was walking around with his daughters in Beverly Hills yesterday, when he got all mad at some pap for getting too close. Bruce emptied his entire water bottle on the pap's Jetta. Or is that a Passat? Why do I care?

Anyway, Bruce wasted precious water! And what the hell is water going to do?

Click here to see video of Brucie getting all mad and ****.

-DLISTED.COM 

NEWSFLASH!!! SAM RO WITHOUT A HAT!!!

And HoHan isn't wearing leggings! The earthquake messed with their brains. HoHan and SamRo were back in Los Angeles yesterday after spreading their cheer all over NYC. SamRo also got some sort of haircut? I guess you could call it a haircut?

-DLISTED.COM

 BRIT'S WEEKEND...

Brit Brit headed down to Cabo this weekend with George Maloof to take a break from her busy life of.....um....errr...help me out here! She was probably celebrating the end of that whole child custody drama. "No mo' babies botherin' me all tha time! Let's hoof it to Mexico!"

-DLISTED.COM

 

KHLOE AND KIM CELEBRAT BIG MAC'S BDAY...

I would enter this under totally random picture... I guess it was the 40th bday or something like that for the Big Mac... of course Khloe was all up in that...

-DLISTED.COM

 

SHANNEN DOHERTY CLAIMS PAPS ARE FOLLOWING HER...

That new "90210" show can't come along fast enough for Shannen Doherty.

We know Shannen went to the Sheriff's Department in Lost Hills (Malibu) to complain about paparazzi following her. The cops who talked to her were baffled ... because they had no idea who she was.

The deputy at the front desk confessed he had no idea who she was. Shannen retorted that she was on TV. The deputy, in a scene reminiscent of "Take the Money and Run," began asking others around him if they knew who she was, but none did.

We're told Shannen then left in a huff.

-TMZ.COM

 

WOW... SOOO CHRISSY IS LEAVING YOUTUBE...

 

 

 

 

If you like this fool this may make you sad... like the rest of us... if you click and watch that video... you are wasting 3:38 minutes of your life... that you just won't get back...  

IT'S ONLY BEEN 3 WEEKS!!!

Nicole Kidman gave birth three weeks ago, and now it's time to go back to work. For a few days, anyway.

Kidman will head back to the set in a couple of weeks to re-shoot scenes for the epic film Australia, directed by Baz Luhrmann, her co-star Hugh Jackman told Access Hollywood at Comic-Con 2008 in San Diego.   Jackman said he was happy for Kidman and award-winning country singer husband Keith Urban on their baby news, but filming was tough for the actor during her pregnancy.

"I am beyond happy for her. I mean she is an amazing woman. She's been a great friend of ours for a long time," Jackman said. "To have this moment is just thrilling. It wasn't always thrilling for her while we were shooting in Australia, let me tell you!"

We've seen super skinny Nicole out without her baby but we still haven't seen Sunday Rose yet, although the gossip mags call her ‘beautiful'. I thought she might release a picture of the baby the same way she did of her wedding but none yet. The Australian media have dubbed the baby ‘Sunday Roast' because of the local tradition of having a hot roast after church. I think that is cute, but I'm not sure that is what Nicole and Keith had in mind when naming their daughter.

Nicole has two films scheduled for next year, including Need where she works with friend Naomi Watts. There are also some reports in the British tabloids she'll be moving to Los Angeles to be closer to her teenage children.

 -CELEBITCHY.COM

 

WHITNEY AND HER MINI-BOBBY STILL TOGETHER...

Whitney Houston and Ray J were photographed leaving the Villa Lounge in Los Angeles this past weekend and from the looks of it Whitney enjoyed herself. I'm curious what you guys think about this "relationship" and if it's any healthier for her then when she was married to Bobby Brown? I'm not so worried about the 17 year age difference as much as whether or not "clubbing" is a good idea. I keep hoping we'll get the old Whitney back.

Her new song showed up on her myspace yesterday... Akon jumped on the track to help her.  I think it's gonna have to grow on me cause after the first listen I am not that impressed...

-IMNOTOBSESSED.COM

 

JOHN MAYER SMOOTH FOR JEN!!!

John Mayer debuted his new look last night in Marysville, Ca. I think this look is so much better on him than that mane he had when he was dating Jessica Simspon.

-SERIOUSLYOMG.COM

 

ANOTHER MASTERPIECE FROM PARIS HILTON...

 

 

 

 

Paris Hilton's next movie 'Repo! The Genetic Opera' is due for release later in the year, though by the looks of this clip the producers might be better just sending every citizen in the world a hand-written note of apology rather than hoping anyone will show up to a movie theatre.

Paris attempts to act and sing at the same time, which is always a recipe for disaster among those with fewer brain cells than pets. Here she's in a dark wig and full goth make-up, but she still can't disguise that wonky eye spinning around and trying desperately to focus on something.

As for the film? It looks like a tone-deaf supply teacher has attempted to recreate the 'Rocky Horror Show' with some of the less gifted students. Words alone can't do justice to this awful, awful thing. Just watch the clip, but make sure you have some brain bleach ready for afterwards.

-HOLYMOLY.CO.UK

 

ASHLEY TISDALE LEAVING "SUITE LIFE"

For every young actor who makes it big on a children's show, there ultimately comes a time when they have to shed their teen star past if they want to have any hope of a long and fruitful career. And for Ashley Tisdale, who made a name for herself with the young ‘uns in 2005 on the Disney Channel hit The Suite Life of Zack & Cody , that time is now.

Insiders have been whispering to OK! that Ashley, who just turned 23 on July 2, was getting restless after three years of playing the part of Maddie Fitzpatrick on the show, and that she was looking to leverage her success in the High School Musical movies into starring film roles and a hit singing career.

When reached for comment on this story, a Disney Channel rep tells OK! exclusively that production on the original Suite Life shows has indeed shut down and that, while the rest of her co-stars will be on board when a spin-off of the show, The Suite Life on Deck, premieres this fall, Ashley will not be a part of the cast - though she has shot at least one guest-starring appearance on the show.

Sources tell OK! that Ashley is hoping to spice up her squeaky clean image and land some more "racy" and "edgy" roles - similar to what Jessica Biel did when she left 7th Heaven and went from goody-two-shoes to sex symbol almost overnight.

But Ashley isn't leaving her ‘tween fans behind completely. In October, they can all line up around the block to see her and her fellow East High students on the big screen in the highly anticipated film, High School Musical 3: Senior Year.

-ICYDK.COM

 

OH GEEEZ THESE TWO ARE AT IT AGAIN!!!

Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen were back in court last week after Denise accused Charlie of some messed up stuff. Denise presented a video to the court of her daughters, Sam and Lola, acting "strangely." Strangely? Were they showing affection towards her because that would be strange.

Basically, Denise was trying to say that she thinks Charlie molested their daughters. Charlie and his lawyers immediately denied that **** and showed video of the girls acting normal around him.

A source told Page Six that Denise only dragged Charlie into court because her reality show is tanking and she's desperate to come up with exciting material, "She thinks a court battle would be good for ratings so she wants all overnight visits with the girls ceased, and monitored visits with her nanny. She invited the media circus to the hearing and even wanted reporters in the judge's chambers - which wasn't allowed. It's ridiculous." She's accusing Charlie of child touching the girls in order to save her reality show? Denise needs to come and talk to me! That's not the way to get ratings. If she wants ratings, she needs Heather Locklear! Ha! Well, Heather saved "Melrose Place." Nothing can save a sinking reality show faster than a good-old fashioned catfight.

Charlie is planning to sue her for defamation and fight her for full custody of the girls.  It's getting ugly. Uglier than that thing on Charlie's head. At this point, I think the court should do what's best for the girls and immediately hand them over to a pack of wolves.

-DLISTED.COM

 

WINO... SHEESH YOU LOOK LIKE WELL... YOU ALWAYS DO...

Blah...blah...Wino is wrecked....blah...blah... I swear, doesn't the Crackie of Camden ever get ****ing sick of being the Crackie of Camden? Some days, doesn't she wake up and think, "I'm not going to shoot heroin my eyeballs today. That's boring. I'm going to bake a cake instead." Being a crackhead seems so exhausting.

Wino was out in full force on Sunday morning. She punched a wall, screamed at her security and then burst into crack tears. Typical. Wino was back to wearing the ballet slippers that even a cracked out dog wouldn't chew on. And her skin is still eating itself. It has to eat something! I also don't think Wino put that flower in her crack hive on purpose. I think her crack hive is starting to grow things. Ugh.

Wino's daddy, Mitch, told The Sun, "Amy is doing fine." Yes, Wino just looks like a basket of sunshine, kittens and rainbows. Somebody throw Mitch in the crazy house already.

 -DLISTED.COM

 

BONO THE GODFATHER!?!?!

Angelina and her eternal slave boy, Brad Pitt, have apparently chosen Bono to be the godfather of their twins. After the twins entered the world, Brangelina spent the week at Bono's place in the South of France. That's where they asked him to be the godfather and he immediately accepted.

A source told The Mirror, "They have been friends for years. Brad is a massive U2 fan and told Bono how much he admired him when they were introduced at a party a few years back. Since then, they've become very close, which Brad is thrilled about. Angelina is inspired by Bono's humanitarian work and gets on with his wife Ali Hewson. Ali's given Angelina some clothes from her ethical clothing range Edun."

Angie Jo wants to ask Jenny Shimizu to be her twins' godmother, but Brad hasn't agreed yet. Jenny Shimizu?! The source got it all wrong. Angie probably wants to ask Jenny ANISTON, but only to messwith her some more. Angie is going to make Maddox call Jenny and say, "Holla J****. It's moi. Guess what? It's your lucky day. My beloved mommy wants you to be the chosen twins godmother. It's going to be a theme ceremony. The theme is....GOT YOU AGAIN, BEYOTCH! Blehehehehe!"

-DLISTED.COM

 

DID MADONA GHOSTWRITE HER BRO'S BOOK!?!?!

MADONNA is truly the master of media manipulation. "The supposed scandal about [her brother] Christopher Ciccone's book is bull[bleep]," an insider told Page Six. "She actually ghost-wrote parts of it with him, the way Princess Diana helped Andrew Morton write his book on her. That's why there's nothing too devastating in Chris's book. He's mean to others, but not so much to his sister." In addition, Madge, now frighteningly rail thin, exploited Alex Rodriguez. "She flirted with him and manipulated him," our source declared. "She didn't count on wife Cynthia leaving him and naming her in the divorce, though." Madonna is using the buzz over her relationship with A-Rod to her benefit. "She's ordered three A-Rod Yankee jerseys she'll wear in the finale of her upcoming shows. All of this was created to sell tickets for her tour, which hasn't been selling so well." A rep for Madonna didn't return calls.

 

-NYPOST.COM

 

JESSICA'S NEW COUNTRY ALBUM COVER...

This is the cover for Jessica Simpson's first country album. The cover fits Jessica perfectly! It's cheap, boring and underwhelming. Just like her!

 -DLISTED.COM

 

SHAI ARRESTED...

Shia LaDouche was arrested on suspicion of felony DUI this morning in Hollywood. This wasn't just your regular DUI either. He could have killed someone.

According to TMZ, Shia made an illegal left turn in front of a car at the intersection of La Brea and Fountain. This caused the other car to hit Shia at which point his car rolled. Or as Brit Brit would say "roled." Apparently, Shia was clearly drunk at the scene.

The victim and Shia were both taken to the hospital. Shia seriously injured his hand and will need surgery.  Shia's passenger suffered a minor head injury. The victim is currently being treated for minor injuries as well. Right now, the police are deciding whether or not to book him on felony DUI or misdemeanor DUI.

Shia was arrested last year for being a drunken mess at a Walgreen's in Chicago. So Shia getting a DUI isn't much of a surprise.  The thing is, I am trying to like Shia, but he's letting the gene known as "doucheness" take over.

UPDATE: Shia is one lucky guy. TMZ reports that he won't be charged with felony DUI, but he will be charged with misdemeanor DUI. He's currently in surgery having his left hand fixed. His female passenger and the male victim had minor injuries including bruises and stuff.

 

-DLISTED.COM

 

DANITY KANE'S MUSIC VIDEO FOR "BAD GIRL"

 

 

 

 

GUY ROLLS SOLO BUT TALKS ABOUT MADGE

Guy Ritchie is a sexy beast. And he was a solo sexy beast yesterday at Comic-Con promoting RocknRolla with cast members including bloaty Gerry and the Piv. Guy also took the time to make assurances that his marriage is fine "as far as (he's) aware of".

Now there's a vote of confidence.

But while Guy stayed on point where his relationship is concerned, his wife likely will tear him a new one for forgetting that she's actually English.

Said Guy about London:

"I was born there and I've seen it change and I know a great deal about it, I'm invested. I live vicariously through my wife, so I was once a spy and now I've become a tourist, and it's much more fun to live in London as a tourist than it is as a spy. Someone told me the definition was a spy always looks for the bad stuff, and a tourist always looks for the good stuff. So that makes it easy, being married to an American."

Her Madgesty is American? I totally forgot? Must be her amazing British accent.

-LAINEYGOSSIP.COM

 

50 CENT SUING TACO BELL!!!

50 Cent is suing US fast food chain Taco Bell for using his name in a  "guerrilla" advertising campaign.

The 'In Da Club' singer, real name Curtis Jackson, is asking for over $1 million in damages from the company - who asked him to change his name to 79 Cent, 89 Cent or 99 Cent to promote their food.

The suit reads: "Taco Bell traded on the name of the world's biggest hip-hop star to draw attention to its new, hip-hop-based advertising campaign, and thereby generated massive publicity for its business."

Taco Bell President Greg Creed wrote to the singer earlier this year, promising to donate $10,000 to his favorite charity if he agreed to change his professional tag.

He wrote: "We know that you adopted the name 50 Cent years ago as a metaphor for change. We at Taco Bell are also huge advocates for change. We encourageyou to 'Think Outside the Bun' and hope you accept our offer."

50 is upset his fans are accusing him of "selling out" by agreeing to promote the brand's value menu, not realizing the adverts were unauthorized.

-HOLLYWODRAG.COM

 

BRIT GETS VMA NOD!!!

Britney Spears Piece Of Me Oficial Video 2do Single!!!

 

 

 

Pop star Britney Spears is the first nominee announced for this year's 2008 MTV Video Music Awards, getting the nod for her hit single "Piece of Me."   The video was chosen by MTV viewers who selected Spears, along with three other top female artists, to represent the Best Female Video category through an online vote at vma.mtv.com.  Rumors continue to circulate about whether the paparazzi favorite will perform live at the awards show, but MTV has yet to confirm or deny. The remaining Best Female Video as well as Best Male Video nominees will be announced at 8pm ET/PT Friday, July 25 on FN'MTV Premieres, the network's new music video series hosted by Pete Wentz.

For the next 4-weeks, fans can cast their vote at vma.mtv.com for VMA categories including Best Hip Hop Video, Best Pop Video, Best Rock Video, Best New Artist, Video of the Year, and more.

The 2008 MTV Video Music Awards will air live from Paramount Pictures Studios in Los Angeles on September 7, 2008 and will be hosted by British comedian Russell Brand.
-IMNOTOBSESSED.COM

 

THERE GOES A MILLION DOLLAR PICTURE

Ethan Hawke and The Nanny said "EFF it" today by not even trying to cover up their little baby's face from the paps. Obviously, they've decided not to whore out their baby in a magazine. Ethan should have tried to work some kind of deal. He could have gotten a meal voucher from T.G.I. Friday's or possibly half of a joint. Oh well, maybe next time.

 -DLISTED.COM

 

ANGIE NEEDS TO FATTEN UP

Producers of the sequel to "The Thomas Crown Affair" have told Angelina Jolie to eat a funnel cake or something. Mmmm....funnel cakes.

Last year, it was rumored that Angie Jo signed on to star opposite Pierce Brosnan in the sequel called "The Topkapi Affair." Paul Verhoeven is supposed to direct this mess. According to the Mirror (via SF Chronicle), they have asked her to gain 28 pounds. A source said, "Ideally they want Angelina to put on 28 pounds for the role. It is going to be very physically demanding, which is why they want her to carry the extra weight. They don't want a reprise of what happened with 'Wanted,' where she was fainting and they had to take her costumes in."

If she gains an extra 28 pounds, that would put her at what weight? An even 100? And I guess if she gains 27 pounds, she's out. It's 28 or bust!

She should just borrow Meg Ryan's fat suit. see below.... 

-DLISTED.COM

 

MEG RYAN FAT!?!?!

46-year-old Meg pulled a Gwenyth Paltrow and put on a fat suit for her new movie, "The Kirstie Alley Story."

No, Meg is doing some movie called "My Mom's Hot Boyfriend." This show also stars Colin Hanks, Antonio Banderas and Selma Blair. It's about "an FBI agent who returns home after a three-year assignment to discover his chunky mother is now super-hot. But his life turns into a nightmare when he's forced to spy on her every move because her dashing new boyfriend may be an international art thief." Wasn't this crap already made in the 80s with Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell?

-DLISTED.COM

 

WHAAAAA!?!?! THESE TWO ARE REALLY LOADED...

If you ever start to feel down about the state of humanity, just remember this: Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are making way more money than you.

We didn't believe it when we saw the video of the couple we love to hate as they went house shopping yesterday in [Malibu]. They looked at two homes: the aforementioned $12 mil beach house and a 10,000 sq. ft. estate with an asking price of more than $15 mil.

So we thought it was a big publicity stunt, until we called the realtor who showed the property. Sandro Dazzan says they're 'serious buyers.'

Guess this is what happens when you sell all your pride.

-MOLLYGOOD.COM

 

MARIAH'S TOUR WILL BE AMMMAAAZZZING...

Mariah Carey has promised her fans that her next tour will be "elaborate", though given Mariah's mental state she may well have meant "a lab rat", bless her and her big, confused cushion face. The tour certainly should be elaborate as it is to promote the album 'E=MC2', named after Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity and crammed with songs about marshmallows, shopping, diamante and where to purchase the skimpiest clothing tat in Beverly Hills.

 Naming an album and tour after such a distinguished piece of scientific research could always backfire if it was merely a term bandied about by a ****wit with no understanding of anything that doesn't cross her dressing table. Luckily (and despite her advancing years) Mariah still has a mind as sharp as a bear-trap.

"I like elaborate. We only do substantial. That's what my jeweller says."

It's always good to name-check the jeweller in situations such as these. Despite warning signals from her PR people, Mariah's busy little mouth continued to fart out thoughts, polluting the air with such ideas as:

"I haven't gotten the looks in mind just yet, but we're going to figure it out soon enough. I'm looking at November right now. But please don't hold me accountable if it turns out to be December 5 or December 7 or January 18!"

Like I said, mind like a bear-trap.

-HOLYMOLY.CO.UK

 

MADGE MAY HAVE PHARELL SHOT AFTER THIS...

Pharrell Williams, worked with Madge on her "Hard Candy" album. When asked what impresses him most about Vadge, he answered, "She sure knows how to milk publicity and create a publicity stunt."

Gulp. Pharrell, Vadge will mostly likely put a hit out on you for saying that. You need to immediately hide out.

-DLISTED.COM

 

SECURITY BREECH ON THE  HOMELAND!!!!

A couple of paps thought it would be a smart idea to dress in camouflage and sneak on to Brangelina's holy land yesterday afternoon. The idiots were immediately caught by Brangie's security team and they all started fighting. The two paps and two security guards were questioned by police. Both sides filed complaints. A spokesperson for the police said the injuries weren't major, just scratches and bruises.

The head of Brangie's security team said, "We caught the two and tried to escort them off the property and the guy's just gone beserk, thrashing out, kicking and actually biting one of the security people, breaking his finger, drawing blood and screaming that he had Hepatitis C."

Brangie's security guards were given doctor's notes, giving them four days off of work.

The paps were probably trying to get pictures of the twin messiahs. Brad Pitt has already threatened to sue for publishing pictures of him and his family on their private property in France. If a clear picture of the twin messiahs is published, it could affect Brangie's $11 million deal for the first pictures of the chosen ones.

By the way, you know Jennifer Aniston hired those paps. She's trying to **** with Saint Angelina's money! Try harder, Jen, try harder!

-DLISTED.COM

 

AS IF WE COULDN'T SEE THIS COMING...

And they said it wouldn't last. Well, they were right. The fairytale romance of "The Bachelor's" Matt Grant and Shayne Lamas has ended. They told People, "We tried hard to make it work but we realized that we were both heading in different directions. We truly care about each other and will remain close friends."

What would be more shocking is if a "Bachelor" couple actually made it past the first year.Don't be surprised when ABC announces Shayne as the next "Bachelorette." It's supposed to happen this way.

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DIDDY YOU SCOUNDREL!!!

Kim Porter was with Diddy for 10  years. They have 3 children together and he never married her. I think they were engaged at least 100 times, but I'm not sure. Star Magazine reports that Diddy is telling his friends and family that he will marry a woman and her name is not Kim Porter. Her name is Cassandra Ventura. That's a hot name. She's got Kim in the name department. Sorry.

A source said, "Diddy said they hadn't set a date yet, but he wanted his family to hear the news first." 38-year-old Diddy met 21-year-old Cassie when he signed her to his label in 2006.

If Cassie thinks she's getting the wedding of her dreams, she's mistaken. This is going to be The Diddy Show. He will be the bride, groom, priest, best man, all of the groomsmen and all of the bridesmaids. Everything will have his face on it and he'll perform at the ceremony and the reception. Cassie will just sit on the side, waiting until it's time to cut the cake.

That's if Kim Porter doesn't crash the ceremony. I'll even drive her  there and hold down Diddy while Kim slaps the SSSS out of him. Then we'll steal a bunch of jordan almonds (love those) and bust out of there.

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GIRL FIGHT!!!! SHANNA VS. KIM!!!

Skank fight alert! Shanna Moakler and Kim Kardashian are in some kind of dumb feud and it all came to a "head" at a bbq in Malibu this weekend. Pieces of trash!

Shanna told The Dirty that it went down as soon as Kim's fat a$$ showed up, "I was at this bbq and I saw what I thought was a donkey posing on the stairs but much to my surprise, it was Kim Kardashian. No, wait, it was a donkey! She's soooo ****ing fat! She's 5′2″ and she's like 140. She was wearing a sarong to cover her huge big ****! I like a nice **** but hers is not a nice ****!" Okay, score 1 for Shauna.

Shanna said she tried to keep it classy, but she couldn't so she threw her drink on Kim. She went on to say, "Then, Reggie comes up and says 'YO! Be careful what you say!' And I was like 'Your girls a whore!' and he said it again - 'Be careful what you say.' and I just told him again - "Your girl's a whore!'" Okay, score 2 for Shauna.

Shanna is apparently mad at Kim over some e-mails sent to Travis Barker. Shanna issued a "statement" to TMZ:

"Quite some time ago I received emails from her mobile device of VERY inappropriate conduct between herself and my husband at the time, that were NOT at all 'friendly' and very much 'romantically' inclined. I spoke to Kim Kardashian, asking her to please stay away from my family as we are trying to heal after a very trying time, she agreed and but failed to do so.

If I had known Ms. Kardashian was going to be at the BBQ in Malibu I wouldn't have gone. One day women will realize when you destroy families there will be angry and hurt ex-wives to deal with. I still have these emails and I won't release them as not to embarrass my ex and my family any further."

Kim also issued her own statement saying that she modeled for Travis Barker's clothing over a year ago, but has never had a romantic relationship with him. Blah...blah...blah..

For real, are we back in junior high school again?

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