MOVIE NEWS

The Oscar-winning movie “Crash” is going to be a television series for the cable network Starz. [Variety]

DISCOUNT SUPERBOWL

Wal-Mart announced it’s taking a “Black Friday approach” to Super Bowl weekend, cutting prices on groceries, TVs and other game-worthy products by 10% to 30%, this week only. [MSNBC]

FLU VACCINE FOR KIDDOS

Take heart, those of you with needle phobia. A new flu vaccine may be on the horizon – one you put under your tongue instead of inject. [AP]

THAT DIRTY EBAY HABIT

…isn’t so dirty after all. A study shows that eBay saves buyers $7 billion that they might otherwise have been ready to pay. [MSNBC]

EBAY PART DEUX

A New York state employee, inspired by Nicolas Cage’s character in National Treasure, is caught stealing hundreds of historic documents and selling them on eBay. [REUTERS]

DER NAKED

“Fly naked on Germany’s first nudist holiday flight” [Reuters]

42

Brazilian model Angela Bismarchi eyes her 42nd plastic surgery procedure prior to Carnival. The Guinness World record of 47 surgical procedures is held by 52-year-old American Cindy Jackson, who calls herself a “Living Doll” and now promotes her own skincare line. [AP]

COMING TO AMERICA

Late-night talk show host Craig Ferguson is officially an American citizen. The Scot got a perfect score on his citizenship test in LA on Friday. [People]

By the Numbers

A Near Miss

Did you hear about the asteroid that passed spookily close to Earth yesterday? Well, here are the numbers to put it in perspective: [Fox]

800 feet

The diameter of 2007 TU24, the asteroid that swung by Earth early Tuesday morning

334,000 miles

The distance from the Earth at its closest point, at 3:33 a.m. Eastern time Jan. 29

239,228 miles

The average distance of the moon from the Earth

TV

TiVo

Martha: Martha Stewart Living’s Lucinda Scala Quinn, designer Oak Atkinson
Ellen: Niki Taylor, Sara Bareilles
The View: Singer/dancer Sarah Brightman, actor Jonny Lee Miller
Regis & Kelly: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Susan Lucci, Chef Tyler Florence
The Oprah: World Record Holders

Stay Up Late

Letterman: Dr. Phil McGraw, country musician Gary Allan
Ferguson: Jessica Alba, Adam Arkin
Carson: Supermodel Niki Taylor, singer Quincy Coleman

$4,300

Average price for a Super Bowl ticket this year. And you don’t even get to see the commercials. [AP]

TRIM YOUR STRIKE BEARD

The Writers’ Guild says writers are allowed to work on next month’s Grammy Awards ceremony. [MSNBC]

POT MACHINES

Only in California could you buy your weed out of a vending machine. [USA Today]

HERO

You’ve gotta love a Jersey cop who spends his last day before retirement giving tickets to his fellow officers. [Fox News]

YOU SAY GOODBYE, BUT I SAY SHALOM

After 43 years, Israel decides to end the nation’s ban against The Beatles. [BBC News]

ADULT CANDY

Hershey will stop producing “Ice Breakers Pacs,” due to their striking resemblance to packets of cocaine. This is just like that whole candy cigarette thing. [THE BLOTTER]

SAFER SKIES?

A TSA test manages to slip a mock bomb past airport security. Your 3 oz. bottle of Axe Body Spray, however, will need to be put in a clear plastic bag. [CNN]

LEDGER-GATE

NYPD detectives say that Mary-Kate Olsen will not be questioned about actor Heath Leger’s death. Instead, she’ll be given a cheeseburger. [AP]

MEET RONALD MCDONALD THE TEACHER

The British government is allowing a “basic shift manager” course for high school students working at McDonald’s to count for high school credit. My only question: does the History section of the syllabus cover the McDLT and McRib? [CNN]

Craigslist: The Perfect Place To Find Cheap Furniture, Love, And Assassins

Ah, Craigslist. The Internet’s cyber-marketplace where surfers can search for discarded bed frames, lost love, and everything in between. And the best part is, it’s allllll anonymous. Right? [Huffington Post]

Not exactly. Last October, an online, Craigslist exchange between a woman looking for a husband who earns more than $500,000 a year and a mystery Wall Street banker, who assessed her potential for romance as a business deal, caused quite an Internet stir while making its way into inboxes across the country. [Reuters]

Lucky for the aforementioned lady, this week’s Craigslist scandal makes her out to seem entirely reasonable.

See, Ann Marie Linscott, 49, posted an ad in November for a “freelance” assassin to kill the wife of a man with whom she’d had an affair.

Originally, the post advertised a generic request for somebody to perform a “freelance” job, court document said. Her true intention was only communicated to those who e-mailed her seeking additional information about the job, the Craigslist CEO said.

Linscott offered $5,000 for the hit, had the name and work address of the woman she wanted dead and she described successful candidates as “silent assassins,” according to agents and court documents.

$5,000? That’s IT?!

Celebrities: Unfiltered

“His plan had a low probability of success.”

— FBI spokesman George Bold, on a 16-year-old’s plan to hijack a small plane and crash it into a Hannah Montana concert. [Yeeeah!]

By the Numbers

The Hamburger Phone’s Juno Bump

After being featured prominently in the Oscar-nominated pregnancy quirk-fest “Juno,” hamburger phones are selling like, well, hot cakes. Here are the numbers: [USA Today]

759%

The increase in the number of hamburger phones sold on eBay since Juno was released

773

The total number of phones sold

$10.45

The average price per phone

70

Number of hits a search for “hamburger phone” currently yields on eBay [eBay]

TV

Tivo

The View: S. Epatha Merkerson, chili chef Cindy Reed Wilkins
Ellen: Reality TV star Trista Sutter, the Scotto family, R&B singer Alice Smith
Regis & Kelly: Jessica Alba and Carmen Electra
Martha: Baker Lori Sandler, beauty expert Eva Scrivo
The Oprah: How the Gift of Fear Can Save Your Life

Stay Up Late

Letterman: Bill Cosby, Lake Bell, the Matt Savage Trio
Ferguson: Raquel Welch, San Diego Charger Antonio Gates
Carson: Dancing with the Stars’ Carrie Ann Inaba, Say Anything

HEATH LEDGER UPDATE

Call me crazy, but if someone found Heath Ledger unconscious and without a pulse, their first instinct would not be to get Mary-Kate Olsen on the phone. [AP]

007

The new James Bond movie will be called “Quantum of Solace.” Let's get Scarlett Johansson as the Bond girl in this one, PLEASE!!! [CNN]

THE INTERNET IS FOR PORN

Nine DC government employees were fired for checking out porn at work, but that’s not the part of the story that caught my eye. No, I was bored until I read some of them were visiting porn on their work computers more than 200 times a day, or 39,000 sites apiece last year. [Washington Post]

DIE YOUNG AND LEAVE A GOOD-LOOKIN’ CORPSE

They told you: Botox is killing people. Get rid of wrinkles and your life! [Reuters]

SMOKE AND WORK DON’T MIX

A California Court ruled yesterday that, even if you’re smokin’ weed for medical reasons, that’s not an excuse to go to work totally high. [ABC News]

SCIENTOLOGY

Hopefully Tom Cruise has some computer skills, because the Church of Scientology just got Hack’d. [C-Net]

THIS WILL NOT END WELL

“Rocket at museum found to be live” [AP]

WHY WAIT?

Snickers, the candy bar, announces that its latest incarnation will not only contain peanuts, but also contains caffeine, along with taurine and B-vitamins. [NBC]

Celebrities: Unfiltered

“F*** Notre Dame.”

“F*** Touchdown Jesus.”

“F*** Jesus.”

— Just a few of ESPN commentator Dana Jacobson’s on-air slip-ups at a Jan. 11 roast for ESPN Radio personalities Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic at Atlantic City, N.J. Oops. [Huffington Post]

TV

TiVo

The Oprah: Adult Children of Divorce Confront Parents
Martha: Chef Shannon Bennett
Ellen: Ryan Seacrest and Ellen’s 50!
The View: “The View” on Dieting
Regis & Kelly: 2007 Mom’s Dream Come True Special

Stay Up Late

Letterman: Actor Nathan Lane, comedian Jake Johannsen
Ferguson: Diane Lane, James Johann, Ayo
Conan: Presidential hopeful Sen. Barack Obama, indie rock band Wilco
Carson: Corelly Miller, tattoo artist Hannah Aitchison, hip hop artist Talib Kweli

STARBUCKS VALUE MENU?!

Believe it or not, you may be able to get something at Starbucks without having to take out a second mortgage: The coffee chain is going to test the $1 cup of coffee. [WSJ]

IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME

Jedis (read: adults who spend too much time in their parents’ basements) plan their own church in the UK. [BBC]

SOMEONE GET THIS MAN A MEDAL

“Belarus border guards foil parrot smuggler” [Reuters]

PITCHFORK READY TO GO FOR THIS GUY

Man kills his daughter, presents “World’s Greatest Dad” mug to the court as evidence of his innocence. Seriously. [CBS]

WE LUV 2 READ

Hemingway and Fitzgerald would say OMG to the possibility of their greatest works being translated into text-speak comes stateside. [ABC]

AREA 51

They can try to fool us by changing the maps, but we know the truth is still out there. Famed top-secret government alien facility “Area 51” is now called “Homey Airport.” [Air Force Times]

BIG BROTHER = AT&T?

In an effort to discourage online copyright theft, AT&T may begin monitoring online traffic on its network.[MSNBC]

“YOU STOLE MY HONEY BUN”

-Man to cellmate while crushing his skull on the floor. [FOX NEWS]

GEE! YOUR FEET ARE SO MINTY FRESH!

Japan has invented a new shoe insole that sprays delightful bursts of minty-fresh vapor to cover your foot odor whenever you take a step. Because nothing smells quite as delicious as mint and old feet. [Reuters]

Writer’s Guild And Studios Headed Back To The Table

Tired of reruns and reality television? So are the writers. [TV Reporter]

The Writer’s Guild of America and the studios are headed back to the table after the WGA agreed to drop one of their key demands: reality TV and animation jurisdiction.

They’ll no longer be pushing to include the folks who plot for Survivor or the Simpson’s into their ranks, but that doesn’t mean it’s not an eventual goal.

Says guild, “In order to make absolutely clear our commitment to bringing a speedy conclusion to negotiations, we have decided to withdraw our proposals on reality and animation...[but] our organizing efforts to achieve guild representation in these genres for writers will continue.”

Now, the WGA will accept the invitation of the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers to “informal talks with studio chiefs, aimed at getting stalled contract negotiations back on track.”

The WGA hasn’t met with the AMPTP since December 7th when ”the guild refused to cede to an AMPTP ultimatum to drop demands for reality TV and animation jurisdiction.”

I’d tell you more, but both parties have agreed to a complete press blackout until negotiations are complete.

Shhh...they’re talking.

Celebrities: Unfiltered

“I warned him.”

— Jack Nicholson, responding to the news that Heath Ledger had died. Creepy. [TMZ]

TV

TiVo

The Oprah: Meet the Oscar Nominees (even if there are no Oscars)
The View: Joan Lunden and soap stars Debbi Morgan, Darnell Williams, Rebecca Budig
Martha: Katherine Heigl, NYT reporter Anahad O’Connor, florist Lewis Miller
Regis & Kelly: Diane Lane, Lia Rinna, Nathan Lane, guest co-host Joy Philbin
Ellen: Actress and cabaret star Paige Davis, self-help guru Dr. Wayne Dyer, KISS Artist Natasha Bedingfield

Stay Up Late

Letterman: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, T.J. Miller, Super Furry Animals
Ferguson: English rock musician Ringo Starr
Conan: John C. Reilly, Vlasta, John Mayer (5/11/06)
Carson: Former Miss USA winner Shanna Moakler, KISS Artist Chingy

And The Nominees Are...

The writers strike didn’t keep the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences from announcing the Oscar nominees, but they may keep stars from showing up at the ceremony. That could be one empty red carpet.

Here are the major nominees: [AP]

Best Picture: Atonement, Juno, Michael Clayton, No Country for Old Men, There Will Be Blood

Best Actor: George Clooney, Michael Clayton; Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood; Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street; Tommy Lee Jones, In the Valley of Elah; Viggo Mortensen, Eastern Promises

Best Actress: Cate Blanchett, Elizabeth: The Golden Age; Julie Christie, Away From Her; Marion Cotillard, La Vie en Rose; Laura Linney, The Savages; Ellen Page, Juno

Best Supporting Actor: Casey Affleck, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford; Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men; Hal Holbrook, Into the Wild; Philip Seymour Hoffman, Charlie Wilson’s War; Tom Wilkinson, Michael Clayton

Best Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett, I’m Not There; Ruby Dee, American Gangster; Saoirse Ronan, Atonement; Amy Ryan, Gone Baby Gone; Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton

Best Director: Julian Schnabel, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly; Jason Reitman, Juno; Tony Gilroy, Michael Clayton; Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men; Paul Thomas Anderson, There Will Be Blood

Best Documentary: No End in Sight, Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience, Sicko, Taxi to the Dark Side, War/Dance

For the complete list, check here: [AP]

TRAGEDY

28-year-old actor Heath Ledger is found dead at his Manhattan apartment. [MTV]

$2.7 MILLION

The cost per 30-second ad that beer giant Budweiser is paying during the “The Big Game”. So far, it’s got 7 spots lined up. [WTOP]

FROM BAD TO WORSE

Lindsay Lohan receives Razzie award nominations for her awful performances in “I Know Who Killed Me” and life. [AP]

PANTY THIEF

Turns out the laundry fairy is real. The culprit: 24-year-old Garth Flaherty is charged with stealing 93 pounds of bras and panties from laundry rooms. [FOX NEWS]

SLOW NEWS DAY

“Blind Seal Ready for L.A. Zoo Visitors” [AP]

NO, SERIOUSLY. SLOW NEWS DAY

“Stowaway kitten takes U.S. plane ride in a suitcase” [Reuters]

CELEB-SUPPORT

Paris tells paparazzi to leave Britney alone and focus on her again. [FOX NEWS]

NO DOGS ALLOWED

A bus driver in England denies a man taking his fiancée out on a leash from boarding. [FOX NEWS]

START WORRYING

It’s good for you. A new Japanese study says that social people get fat, and worriers stay skinny. [Reuters]

GOING OUT IN STYLE

World-class fashion designer Valentino prepares to retire. [AP]

CELEBRIDIRT

Amy Winehouse sort of looks like Britney Spears look like Mother Theresa. Especially when she’s caught on camera doing crack, coke, and ecstasy. [Jossip]

Celebrities: Unfiltered

“It’s unbelievable. Mom and I were in bed and dad was waiting up for the announcements again, because that’s the way my daddy is. It’s kind of a bit weird actually, in a good way, in a fantastic way. I never expected this in a million years to happen. I can’t believe it. I’m really proud as well that two Irish paddies have been nominated for an Oscar for the same film. It’s really great for Ireland, great.”

— 13-year-old Saoirse Ronan, nominated for supporting actress for “Atonement”. [AP]

TV

TiVo

The Oprah: What Makes America, America

The View: Journalist Tom Brokaw

Ellen: Animal Planet’s Jeff Corwin

Martha: Dr. Andrew Weil

Regis & Kelly: Former vampire slayer Sarah Michelle Gellar, “Rock of Love” Bret Michaels

Stay Up Late

Letterman: The Redwalls

Ferguson: Carmen Electra, Justin Bartha, Margaret Cho

Carson: Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard, KISS Artist OneRepublic

Conan: Dave Chappelle, Common